Thanksgiving is an invitation to "count your blessings." 

Gratitude is a powerful way to worship God and helps us become healthier and more loving in our apprenticeship to Jesus. This is why the Bible instructs us to "give thanks to the Lord" and affirms thankfulness as a virtue that leads to living in God's peace (Psalm 136:1; Philippians 4:6-7).

But what if you don't feel thankful?
You've probably experienced times when gratitude and praise flow out of you. Yet there are seasons when "counting your blessings" doesn't come so naturally. Maybe you are facing overwhelming challenges in your life, relationships, or ministry. Perhaps you're in the middle of significant loss and grief. Your spiritual life may be full of desolation and confusion. To "count your blessings" might feel inauthentic. Sadly, we can misunderstand teachings like "rejoice always" or "give thanks in all circumstances" to mean something like: If you are hurt or sad or angry, just put on a happy face and be more positive.

Yet this kind of artificial thankfulness teaches you to deny your emotions and needs. It might "work" for a while, but ultimately leads to mental health issues instead of lasting joy or peace. Stuffing your emotions will also create distance in your relationship with God and others, making it even harder to be grateful. This is not to mention that God desires your love for him and words of thankfulness to be sincere (Luke 6:45; 1 Timothy 1:5).

So how can we cultivate authentic gratitude to God? Thanksgiving and emotional honesty must be integrated together. Bringing your hurts and needs to God reminds you he is present with you and cares about you (John 14:16; 1 Peter 5:6-7). Genuine praise and thanks will flow out of you as you unburden yourself and trust your heart in the hands of the God of all comfort (John 14:16; 1 Peter 5:6-7; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

Praying with emotional honesty is how you bring your life and circumstances into the Kingdom of the Heavens in the midst of hardship and suffering (Matthew 4:17; 5:3-12). "Counting your blessings" is to appreciate, one by one, that you have every spiritual blessing in Christ (Matthew 4:17; 5:3-12; Ephesians 1:3).

True thankfulness is not ignoring your pain to look at Jesus — it's looking at Jesus in the middle of your pain with tears in your eyes. You'll experience genuine gratitude through the process of emotional honesty. 

The psalms model for us how to pray through our emotional struggles and put our confidence in God. Psalms of lament guide us through our distress and into gratitude as God meets us there, reminds us of his loving nature, and helps us rely on him (e.g., Psalm 3; 31; 142).  Similarly, one of my favorite songs to reflect on during Thanksgiving is an old hymn called Count Your Blessings by Johnson Oatman Jr. It was written in 1897 and is still sung around the world today. It teaches us that acknowledging we are "tempest-tossed" and "burdened with a load of care" can help lead us to a deeper experience of God and genuine gratitude.

Let's prayerfully read the lyrics together:
When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings — money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

How has God blessed you — not just physically but spiritually?
As you "count your blessings," you'll find that "it will surprise you what the Lord has done."